guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
being pregnant is like rehab
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
