i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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