So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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