I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
