I'm gonna have a badass scar
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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