oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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