Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
