I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
