where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
