They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
