why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
