So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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