I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
