i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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