I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
