just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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