I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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