I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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