whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
