To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
