that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
