I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
