im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
