I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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