just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
