Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
