he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
