she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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