dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
