I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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