Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
