yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
