try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
