I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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