Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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