It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Say something about gay babies.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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