I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
