You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
soo... how was my night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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