every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
