I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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