Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
