bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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