he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
