Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We are two peas in an std pod
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
