what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
