just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
