my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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