piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
