Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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