She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
