just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
